26 December 2014

没什么好心情的年末假


那天的早晨,为了回去准备某个活动,我在去车站的路上摄下的。可惜没抓准时机,未能把她最美的瞬间捕捉。

今天突然很没兴致地想起了中四那年的口试辩论题目:“假期使人变得懒散”。

作为反方,我们一直在“个人因素”上兜转,差不多快把对方给气死,哈哈!突然想到这个辩论题目,也是因为自己刚想说,唉,怎得变得如此懒散了?都怪假期,都是假期惹的祸!这就想到了这个辩论题,其实啊,真的是假期的错吗?

我没辩论的心情,也没有如此逻辑清晰、条理分明的脑袋,更没有伶牙俐齿,所以,我还是回到我这沉闷的假期来吧。

刚打开某个聊天应用程序,一托拉库的讯息涌上来。才几天,他竟然有办法把自己每一天到过的地方、每天吃的每一餐、每一种甜点、小吃都拍照放到聊天室里,天啊,我快被烦死了,实在没心思去看那些照片。我着实好奇,去玩的人还有时间和心情上聊天室吗?旅游不是旨在享受当下吗?我明白拍照对于回忆与记录的重要,我更珍惜这种记取的方式,只不过,每一张照片如果都要分享到聊天室里来,这不是太夸张了吗?除了旅游之外,不管他到了什么地方,都要报行踪、上传咖啡糕点。我们又不是他的谁,真有必要这样报备吗?况且,那越来越多的照片,聊天室可不是私人云端储藏空间啊!

我们也常做这样的事,好吃的、好玩的,都会想到知己好友,把图片上传、把快乐分享,但如果每一天都这样的话,哎哟喂,烦不烦啊?

有趣的是,由于我们之间还有对他的私生活有兴趣的人,几乎他的每个讯息她都愿意回复,我实在彻底咋舌啊。You know what, why don't you two get a room? By 'room', I mean chatroom, dude.

自从与他们变得越来越友好,玩乐的时间也占去了大部分的私人空间,我开始没法习惯,也愈发自责,学习的事,竟不太上心了。如何能做到刚刚好呢?这未必每个人都能体谅与理解。呵。

原本应该是五周的写意轻松,结果,为了学会,为了活动,为了种种原因,放假快两个星期了,才真正的回到家。可才开始松懈下来,一堆讯息又来催人命:新春联欢会的赞助还是不够,幸运抽奖项目仍没有任何赞助商品、大学学生事务部门不太同意会计学生到发廊学院参观、活动需要的巴士申请恐怕没办法通过,原因?巴士统统被预订去了,真搞笑!还是星期日呢,预订日期错误、 还有一项大活动,连企划书都还没完成……

呼,不想了,我能做的都做了,该来的反正要来,我就等着吧。想必开学的时候还有更多事情会将我淹没。

青春列表结束之后,我似乎没有停止分享歌曲,而我的心情,都还是继续通过这些歌曲来表达。可能是文字和言语都与我生疏了。有多久不曾真正的静下心来看一本中文书,有多久没写过字了。想到中学时高中的班主任,和那每一位教过我的华文老师,实在对不住。当初多么强烈的民族意识,也在生活的快步与琐碎中渐渐被磨掉了,唯独那暴脾气,却是改不了,真无可奈何。


现在的心情: In My Place - Coldplay  不给连接了,有心的话,何须连接?哈哈。



20 December 2014

Autumn after Summer

I feel like I'm gonna fall sick again, been sneezing all day. This is just sad.

Two weeks of my sem break has been spent on meetings and preparation for events, now when I'm finally free, sick? Really?

I realized that I like going on the road, and spend a long time travelling in the car, ah ha, but not being the driver. Tuning in to Lite FM, sit back and relax, I only found it enjoyable on the way back. We spent a day in Klang yesterday, to celebrate a friend's birthday.


Captured this few days back when it was dusk at my place. Sometimes, I like this place too when I'm alone. And when I am all by myself, I am faithful to my inner feelings. “孤独时最容易使人忠实” , quoting Brian Wu.

I remember how it started, I was hoping it to be endless. And Dusk shows us all how it ends, everything, like how the Sun sets. But not really, it does not end, you'll see Dawn, isn't it? So what are all these crap I've been talking? If you'd watched 500 days of Summer, you'll notice Autumn appears towards the end. This is what I am talking about.



Everything comes to an end. The end of something is the beginning of another. Maybe it's a cycle, I'm not too sure, 'cause I have not reached the point of realising and believing it's all a cycle, I'm only at this stage where I can see Autumn coming after Summer, like how Tom does.

And I like Autumn. :)

This song pretty well sums up my mood.


15 December 2014

熟悉的侧脸


我在等列车的月台上看见她。

我不认识她,没见过。她坐在椅子上认真地看着刚从书展里买回来的书,啊,是了,大野狼,就在这车站附近。

她系着马尾,不时抬起头来看看看板上的时间、 列车来了没,有时候并不是在看什么,或许只是把视线从书本上移开一会儿,琢磨、思考着书本上的字句。

我真的不认识她。是认真的人的魅力?是系着马尾的女生特吸引人?或许是,但在这个场景里,都不是呢。

她有一张我熟悉的侧脸。述说着比她手里的书本更令我动容的故事,我无法把视线移开。

你或许不理解这种几近变态的行径,我并不想说服你。我的感觉,无需你服气与理解。

多少次,你又看见了那张熟悉的侧脸,而她总是安静的,不说话,总在忙着一些你再也没心思去在乎的事。你只想看着她,听她那安详的脸上述说的故事。它是那么的宁静,却又像是对你细述着万语千言。更正确地,应该是你在对她倾诉着一切,因为,她压根儿没有察觉到你的存在,只能是你在对她述说,可在那一刻,计较这些都是无意义的。天知道你们之间的空气到底交换了多少次彼此的气息,以至于令你有了这种 “我们之间传达了多少的讯息啊” 的错觉,而你们,都是安静的。

在藤井树的 《六弄咖啡馆》 里,看过这一段字句:

“我从她的侧脸,看到了另一个世界。仿佛我跟她被隔离在不同的空间。或许该这么说,当我看着她的侧脸时,我的人在这个空间,而 ‘我双眼里的视界’,又是另一个世界。那感觉就像是全世界只有你熟悉这张侧脸,而这张侧脸只存在你的眼睛里,却不存在于你的世界。

让我说得清楚一点,就是当你看这一张熟悉的侧脸,其实你并不是正在 ‘看着’,而是正在 ‘倾诉着’。你正在对着这张 ‘熟悉的 侧脸’ 说话,只是对方听不见。”

我也曾在念基础课程开学没几天的时候,看见过这一张熟悉的侧脸。她不属于任何人,她只属于某个角度,某个时间点。她属于偶然。

是啊,偶然。

6 December 2014

青春的播放列表 - 第十首歌

Playlist at 20 - Song No. 10

问我  --  陈丽斯    

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acr5j5lszPM


这是爸爸的推荐。虽是老歌,我觉得对任何年龄层都适宜。我们都还年轻,一个年轻而健康的人最大的财富就是时间。犯了错,我们还有更正的机会,因为年轻。朋友告诉我,比 如,考qualification papers,不合格,我们还有机会重考,当你开始工作了,或者有家庭之后,也许就没有这个时间和精神重考了。

这其实是很个人的见解,每个人看法不一,我只是觉得,无论如何,你就是你自己,自己决定吧,只要你最终还能抬着头,挺起胸膛回应:我是我,那就够了。

分享这首,作为结尾的歌,只是希望我和我亲爱的你们能坦坦然然的,无论别人如何评论,认真地做自己吧。

30 November 2014

你干什么去了呢

你……忙吗?

呵呵,我有那么的没耐性么?也许呢,对于自己欣喜的人与事物都会多一分的好奇,我们不都是这样的吗?

很想给你写封信,可没有你的地址,很蠢吧?科技如此发达,何必舍近求远呢?一个讯息,一句简单的:“hi!”,话匣子就打开了。

算了吧,我们不熟,何必多费唇舌,反正最后换来的大概也是零回复,再不然大概也是冷漠吧。 说起我的搭讪经历,其实也没那么不堪,不过毕竟搭讪字面本身就不太正经了,所以,也没什么特别美好的经历。

我原以为前几篇以英语书写的表达你大概会明白,但兴许你连看都不曾看过呢。我们之间的许多共同之处可能都只是碰巧,我想你确实不会对这样的巧合在意。

这是很平静的一种心情,相信我,自从那次以后,我许久都不曾有过因为情感所致而几近崩溃的激动了。面对这样的淡漠,我心中存有的,其实也是矛盾的心情。

无奈,为何我的热情不再了呢?欣喜,因为平淡正是我的追求。

祝你有愉快的心情,晚安。





29 November 2014

青春的播放列表 - 第九首歌

Playlist at 20 - Song number 9

爱的代价  --  张艾嘉    

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqWI-vGjjcE

 

有一回,我和妈妈吵架,吵得很凶,我在夜里,躲在被窝里哭泣,听着这首歌。越哭,我越想听,越是听,我越是哭得厉害。爱的代价,这就是我对妈妈的爱的代价,因为爱而在乎,因为在乎而牵动情绪,流了一夜泪。

走吧,走吧,人总要学着自己长大,我那时想,我要走去哪儿呢?这里是我的家啊,难道要流落街头?

张艾嘉,最初,我以为她是香港人,咬字有点怪,仔细一听,其实很标准,就是过于重视咬字的标准度而显得有些怪,这是个人意见啦,听久了也不觉了。现在觉得,张艾嘉的呈现,是纯朴而诚恳的。

也曾伤心流泪,也曾黯然心碎,这是,爱的代价。

如今我还是会想念当初长住在家的时刻,想念中学的求学时期,想念那些校园的青春,这和大学里的青春又是全然不同的两回事。这种想念,从基础课程刚开始的强烈渴望,演化到现在,只剩下淡淡的回味。或许距离中学毕业的时候越久,心里的那股想望也渐渐熄灭了吧。回归现实,我们必须面对的这个世界,仍旧像这首歌里的一样,总要我们学着自己长大 。

2014 年即将到尾声,我的列表分享也将结束。这一年来,又是什么样的一个总结呢?

花未全开,月未全圆,耐心地等候吧。

23 November 2014

青春的播放列表 - 第八首歌

Playlist at 20 - Song number 8

好时光 -- Geraldine 颜慧萍   
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Mexw_ySZyE

二十岁是不是我们的好时光?第一个“二”字年头,一部电影的上映,一路有你的陪伴,简单的幸福,最真。这首歌令我感觉最深的,是写意。

旋律简单,歌词也简明地表达着某种欢快和对于一路相伴的感激。走过坏时光,留下好时光。

 一路有你,谢谢。

20 November 2014

青春的播放列表 - 第七首歌

Playlist at 20 - Song No. 7

十七岁的北极星  --  范玮琪   

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZt6d05OwUQ


 


范玮琪,我从没想过自己会喜欢这位歌手。她的声音很特别,富磁性,听起来似乎有点沉,但其实不然。细听这首歌,会发觉尾音几乎都有拉长,而拉长的尾音都有点抖。

十七岁是个临界点,告别高中生涯,聚散离合,一切回忆,像风一样,吹散在心底各个角落,不时踩到一片,将之拾起,细细追忆。

曾经看过一段故事,说的是陈升办过的一场演唱会。演唱会的门票是双人制的,意思是说,若想买票观赏,必须和伴侣或情人一同买票,而演唱会的日期却是在一年后。一年后,同样的,得两个人一起才能入场观赏演唱会。而一年后的事情,谁又能料想得到呢?

我不知道这段故事的真实性,但我们都能体会这段故事的意义。

相信每个人都有属于自己的临界点故事,而你十七岁的北极星,如今还守护着你吗?

8 November 2014

青春的播放列表 - 第六首歌

My Playlist at 20 - Song No. 6

Desperado -- Eagles
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDNtqy0zjJA


  

这首歌是我的 all time favourite。十八岁,我在文章里看到作者通过小说介绍 The Eagles。我兴冲冲搜寻之后,“Desperado”歌名特吸引我,虽然作者没有介绍这首歌,却成了我最喜欢的,由这个乐团演唱的歌曲。歌词正好反映了青春正盛的我们内心里难免的遗憾与对自由的渴望,我把它看作对我十八岁的看穿。而今二十岁的我,还是深深觉得,这是对人生的失落表达的共鸣。勇敢地去爱 吧,他们这么唱。“You'd better let somebody love you…

不多说,听一听,读一读歌词,用心感受更实际。

Desperado 


Words and Music by Don Henley and Glenn Frey

Desperado why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh you're a hard one
But I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts
Is always your best bet

Now it seems to me some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones
That you can't get

Desperado oh you ain't getting' no younger
Your pain and your hunger
They're drivin' you home
And freedom oh freedom
Well that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walkin' through
This world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the wintertime?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the nighttime from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feelin' goes away?

Desperado why don't you come to your senses
Come down from your fences open the gate
It may be rainin' but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you
You better love somebody love you
Before it's too late

4 November 2014

青春的播放列表 - 第五首歌

Playlist at 20 - Song Number 5



大概是六十年代的平淡缩写,请别告诉我你爱我,说你喜欢我。这是一个对自由向往的人不希望被情人牵绊的抒发。我喜欢这样的表达,我喜欢彼此作伴而不相互干扰 ,而我也向往自由。自由之于我,很简单,现在我经常能够享有这种短暂的写意。建议你,可以在听这首歌的时候,想象一下自己对于自由构想的画面,如果从没想过,那就趁听着这首歌曲的空档想想吧。

小记:最近真的很忙,只不过还是想偷闲一下上来这里。本该上星期六放上来的这一首歌拖了几天,不过,嘿嘿,这一味还真不是所有人都会爱上的。没事,听听看吧,它围绕着我一年多了。

I Wanna Be Free


I wanna be free,
Like the bluebirds flying by me
Like the waves out on the blue sea.
If your love has to tie me, don't try me,
Say good-bye.

I wanna be free,
Don't say you love me say you like me,
But when I need you beside me,
Stay close enough to guide me, confide in me,
Oh-oh-oh

I wanna hold your hand,
Walk along the sand,
Laughing in the sun,
Always having fun
Doing all those things
Without any strings
To tie me down.

I wanna be free,
Like the warm September wind, babe,
Say you'll always be my friend, babe.
We can make it to the end, babe,
Again, babe, I gotta say:
I wanna be free
I wanna be free
I wanna be free

26 October 2014

Random mood


Well, when I am suffocated under all this pressure of studies and activities held and to be held, it's a saddening fact that I can barely find someone to pour all my dissatisfaction and helplessness, 'coz let's be frank, no one likes to hear your problems and bear with you negativity, even if they are your best friends, your significant other. The only place I can go is here, the private place I kept from most of my social circles.

When people you trusted, again, show their irresponsibility because they think the context is not important, they put no effort in completing tasks they themselves chose to take over, copying everywhere with no credit to the source. When they are encountered and asked to do it again, to refine it, they make only a little, insignificant change and tell you that they think other parts are okay, need no amendment. But why? Just for the sake of passing because it is a non-grading subject? Then why enter college? Why proceed until University? Go get some better things to do, this is no playground for you.

Okay, enough of this. I am making this place a trash can for cries and resentment. I have friends that sincerely care for me, but as well, I don't want to trouble them with my own unhappiness no more. I worry too much sometimes, to an extreme extent, LOL.

I came across this article from Reader's Digest (1980's, found it at home) about some advice to those who worry a lot. It says to, first, be aware of yourself being worried, so that when you do so, you can recognize it and take necessary means (maybe not as easy as it sounds). The next thing to do is to interrupt your "worrying" process and focus on something relaxing or a positive object, tell yourself that you'll have time to worry later but not now. And then, spend 30 minutes each day to do your "worrying".

To some extent, I am practising this, but it is quite hard to distract yourself when you think those things that you worry about need to continue be worried about and the disruption just seems ineffective at all. My mind is too stubborn I guess.

This place is great for me. A perfect place to set my mind at peace, when I find the outside world a bit too disappointing. If I show you more of what I am, would you retract? Would you appreciate me for who I am? I am plain, boring and insipid while you are young and bold. You'd want fresh, stimulating excitement and me? I just want a branch to call at, for now. But hey, you are so different that I too, long for calling at somewhere close to you, haha.

I'm still waiting, you know?



25 October 2014

青春的播放列表 - 第四首歌

My Playlist at 20 - Song No. 4

We Are Infinite -- The Tunnels     




这首就厉害了。这是一个乐团的团员在看过了《The Perks of Being a Wallflower》原著之后写下的歌,记录那本美丽的书。

我在搜寻这部电影和原著的所有歌曲、插曲和书本里提及的歌曲之时,偶然发现这首歌。熟悉电影和原著的人一定会发现这首歌并不存在于电影或者原著里,而且歌名的明显程度会告诉你,像这样的电影并不会如此高调的采用电影和书本里最经典的台词来为插曲命名。

所以,这不是一首电影里的插曲,也不是书本里主角听过的歌,而是一位玩乐团的读者在看过这部美丽的原著后,情感抒发的创作。重要的是,这首歌的情感表达完全符合故事情节,强吧?

 “We are infinite.”是主角在电影里最经典的说辞。最初听到的时候,我清楚知道这并不是电影里的插曲,因为根本没在电影里听到,或许只是一首碰巧与电影对上味的歌,歌名又正好和电影的台词一样,就连乐团的名字都那么巧,The Tunnels,而电影里最经典的一幕正是以隧道为场景的。后来搜寻之下才知道,原来是特别为原著创作的歌曲。没有特别去搜寻或者留意的话,会觉得这可能是电影里的某一首插曲, 因为歌曲风格和电影里主角在隧道里拥抱的那首歌非常相近,这是创作者的用心和投入,让我非常敬佩。歌词也表达了由故事带动的情绪,很有味道。

或许是我看戏看太多的关系,我经常会想像自己和伴侣(一个作伴的人,不一定是情人)开着车,在一条宽敞的大道上奔驰,开着车窗,(当然开篷车会更爽,不过我目前没这能力),然后吹着风,听着播放器里的歌,不说话,自在而写意,自由而快乐。这首歌,很适合派上这样的场景,是一首能在开车自由奔驰的画面里高度配合的歌。

 如果有一天,我们开上了宽敞笔直的大道,我会毫不犹豫地拥抱着这首歌,飞翔。嗯,这便是我心中的浪漫。


We are infinite - The Tunnels

It's cold in no time,
The streets lights fascinate my eyes,
valley of lost souls searching,
a city lost in time
We walked to Earth's edge,
the air's not fit to breathe again,
and so we hold our breathes
and pray this won't end,
it will never end.

We sat on the ride home,
singing our favorite song,
reading the line on the side of the roads,
it tells me, "You're not alone."
No longer hysteric or frantic,
when I said I loved you, I meant it,
So tell me are you in?
Because tonight we are infinite

The year is over,
And still the time goes by so slow,
we hold on to every moment
our lives are stitched and sewn,
I see you from around the corner,
all of the pain and all your strain,
you hide it so well behind walls of the strange,
take it away.

We sat on the ride home,
singing our favorite songs,
reading the line on the side of the road,
it tells me, "You're not alone."
No longer hysteric or frantic,
when I said I loved you, I meant it,
So tell me are you in?
Because tonight we are infinite

18 October 2014

青春的播放列表 - 第三首歌

My Playlist at 20 - Song number 3

Come on Eileen -- Dexys MIdnight Runners     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC1vtG3oyqg


我会说,这是我最喜欢的舞曲。歌词带点暗示的意味,可这么直接爽快的歌曲并不似在暗示,而且,'take off everything' 已经很直接。《The Perks of Being a Wallflower》 是现阶段对我影响最深的电影,这是 Charlie 真正走入 Sam 与 Patrick的生活 的关键舞曲,而当我开始搜寻这部电影的所有插曲和歌曲的时候,才开始真正的爱上她,太美丽了,前奏已经熟悉不过,而欢快的节奏、清新的旋律,渲染的是多么快乐的气氛。我特别喜欢那一句“ too ra loo ra too ra loo ra-aye”,很神奇的非常上口。我虽然不会跳舞,但听见这首歌,就会想起 Sam 踢着腿,毫无顾忌的展开她的 Living Room Routine, 让人也想随之跳起来。

忙碌的学期又开始了。打起精神,社团的活动越来越多,所有人都忙得喘不过气来了,不过,我竟觉得这些活动让我变得更勇敢了,尤其当讲师因为社团的花费问题带着我们到学生事务部门去和那里的负责人理论、当某个活动会议里,有学生大胆的挑战和反驳,我突然觉得,我们似乎从来就没有遵从的义务,只是我们习惯了、我们害怕挑战的结果。我好像不害怕了,当你觉得最糟糕的情况就是这样了,你大概也就觉得没什么好怕的了。

Come On Eileen


(Come On Eileen)
(Come On Eileen)

Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio
But he moved a million hearts in mono
Our mothers cried
Sang along
Who'd blame them
You've grown, so grown
Now I must say more than ever
(Come On Eileen)
Too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye, aye
And we can sing just like our fathers

Come on Eileen
Oh, I swear what he means (what he means)
At this moment you mean everything
You in that dress
My thoughts I confess
Verge on dirty
Oh, come on Eileen

(Come On Eileen)

These people round here
Wear beaten-down eyes sunk in smoke-dried faces
They're so resigned to what their fate is
But not us (no, never)
No, not us (no, never)
We are far too young and clever (remember)
Too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye, aye
And you'll hum this tune forever

Come on Eileen
Oh, I swear what he means
Aah, come on let's
Take off everything
That pretty red dress
Eileen (tell him yes)
Aah, come on let's
Aah, come on Eileen

That pretty red dress
Eileen (tell him yes)
Aah, come on let's
Aah, come on Eileen

Come on Eileen, too-loo-rye-aye
Come on Eileen, too-loo-rye-aye
Now you're full grown
Now you have shown
Oh, Eileen

Say, come on Eileen
These things they are real and I know
How you feel
Now I must say more than ever
Things round here have changed
I say, too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye-aye

Come on Eileen
Oh, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
You in that dress, my thoughts I confess
Verge on dirty
Aah, come on Eileen

Aah, come on Eileen
Oh, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
You in that dress, my thoughts I confess
Well, they're dirty
Come on Eileen

Come on Eileen...

15 October 2014

夏末初秋的短暂记录





最初,夏末初秋的我,十多年以后,夏末初秋的我,再三五年后,夏末初秋依旧的我。

夜深总是更轻易地令我变得冲动,做事再也不多考虑。那年是这样,那天又复同样的脾气。这样幼稚地活着,这样固执地活着,究竟是难得,还是愚蠢的?

我干了相当愚蠢的一件事,但我不想将痕迹磨灭掉,所以我用新的一种心情去覆盖它,但不会否认它的存在。

很喜欢狮子王。从小一直喜欢到现在。以前不会因为喜欢就不停重复地播放,所以我连自己如此喜欢的电影里令人印象最深刻的歌曲都记不太清了。Can you feel the love tonight 固然好听,没得说的,但重看了第二部的狮子王我才发觉,原来我一直最喜欢的狮子王 soundtrack 并不是 Can you feel the love tonight, 而是 Simba 与女儿 Kiara 合唱的 We are one。那才是我最熟悉的狮子王歌曲。

很怀念童年吧。我的童年就是沉浸在卡通和电视节目里的。很抱 歉,我五岁才上幼儿园,那时候,我们还称幼儿园为幼稚园,也因此,或许我们到现在都还比较幼稚吧。我五岁才上幼儿园,对我来说,是一件很高兴的事,我真感 谢妈妈做对了选择,没有早早地把我送入幼儿园里,提早结束我的童年。我就是一直在看卡通、玩玩具、然后晚上和家人一起看港剧的童年里慢慢成长的。

然没有在三、四岁的时候就上学,但妈妈还是开始自己教我写字、算术,用相思豆来叫我简单的加、减法。我没有瞎掰,不是因为相思豆听起来比较浪漫所以乱入 的,我妈果然是用相思豆来教我加、减法的。爸爸的办公室后面有棵相思树,会落下红红的,像漆上去一样颜色的小红豆子。装了满满一罐, 我想是爸爸捡给妈妈的,不知何故被用来教我算术。结果我贪玩,很喜欢那些红红,很特别却又只有在学算术的时候才能见到的豆子,趁妈妈不在的时候,翻箱倒柜 地找那个罐子,也不知道如何被我找着的,后来还被我弄不见了好多颗。

我一直没有想起这些相思豆,直到几年级的时候读到了那一首相思

红豆生南国
春来发几枝
愿君多采撷
此物最相思

后,这首诗不断出现在我小学同学的纪念册里,因为我没来由的莫名喜欢上了这首诗,于是在快毕业的季节里,我每写一次同学的纪念册,这首诗就出现一次,几乎 无例外。这首诗后来还是让我想起了上幼儿园之前妈妈教我算术时候的那些红豆子,我想再去找出来。但无奈,这些豆子似乎在我们搬家之后便不曾出现过了,我也 再没有见到过。

我的童年,除了这些豆子之外,还有练习写英语字母的练习本。我的记忆很深刻,那些练习本,我还记得, 颜色很单调,不是单一的红,就是单一的青,一点都不吸引小孩子的目光。最可怕的是,整本练习本除了 A Z 二十六个字母都练几次之外,还要倒转过来,从 Z 开始写,倒退回 A,然后再加上一些随时随地考你什么字母后面是什么字母、什么字母前面是什么字母的奇怪练习题,直到 A Z 你熟悉到不能再熟悉为止。还好我还有卡通可看,不然应该会闷死。

我最喜欢西游记了。小时候那是我最喜欢的连续剧,由张伟健饰演的悟空,传神啊。小时候太多信以为真的事,不能够接受那都不是真实的,只不过是个虚构的人物。我真希望长大这件事也能像面对这些虚构的人物一样,到了某个不再执着的年龄,你会自然的接受它,自然地不再留恋一些只存在于过去的美好。

不担心,总会有那么一个阶段的。


11 October 2014

青春的播放列表 - 第二首歌

 My playlist at age 20 - Song 2

All Out of Love -- Air Supply    

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr3dJxeT4oA

      or 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBMYow46LxQ
 


 一 首非常经典的歌曲,曾经在电视的广告里响起。广告里推销的正是一个集合着各个经典歌曲的专辑,轻轻地带过一句:“  I'm all out of love...”  那时候,这么简略的一句副歌旋律实在挑不起我的注意,甚至因为经常被这广告打扰而有点厌烦。但人家说,我们的 five  senses 真的很奇妙。很多年过去之后,我以为,这首我根本不曾完整听过的歌曲, 并不会在脑里停留。想不到的是,当我沉浸在  《The Perks of Being a Wallflower》Charlie 对 Sam  的眷恋而开始听一些不再沉闷的歌曲,All Out of Love 的旋律传来, 副歌还没进来,主歌已经很吸引我了,而当副歌终于进入之后,我却绞尽了脑汁,想着自己在什么地方听过呢。原来一首只在广告里闪过的歌,脑里的某个扳机一旦 被启动,记忆竟会那么深刻。于是,我写下:Didn't think it was you...


"All Out Of Love"


I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

[Chorus:]
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long, lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
does the feeling seem oh, so right?

And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on?
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone

[Chorus]

Ooh, what are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
what are you thinking of

[Chorus]